As I was reading through the chapter this time I was struck by the notes I penciled in the margin last time. I’m also struck by how lessons come from all directions when we need to learn them.
1. Michael suggests we look at previous lessons we’ve written, to be astounded and blessed by how much we’ve grown. But what if you look back at a previous lesson and find you have made NO progress… that you STILL haven’t applied the lessons learned?
2. Michael recently referred to the monkey on a friend’s back, and the serious problems it has caused that person in terms of health issues.
3. I’m told, The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
And then there’s David Haines’ brilliant lesson plan…
4. David says the one word that defines what holds us Green personality types back is “Indifference.”
Indifference? I’ve been ignoring the monkey on my back, partly because there has been so much else to learn, and partly because I don’t want to face it and deal with it. Napoleon Hill says Barnes’ desire was not a “hope.” It was not a “wish.” It was DEFINITE! So what is lacking in MY desire? What is holding me back from obtaining it?
My specific issue is not Mentoring For Free, or finding the right people to talk to. Not directly. My issue is the particular brand of self sabotage behind the achievement of my goals. It’s the special tool I’ve been using to hold myself back. Today I’m facing it, and listening to the negative self talk that gets me into trouble every time.
“What’s the use?”
“It won’t work!”
“I’m tired.”
“It’s not worth the effort.”
“I’m afraid I’ll fail. Again.”
“I’d have to start ALL. OVER. AGAIN.”
Blah blah blah.
David is right. It’s still Indifference, even if it’s the result of aggression… forcibly squelching the desire that will get me to where I want to be.
My pastor said to me that we often think, “If only I would do this or that, things would be much better. But that isn’t what God is looking for. Get rid of what stands between you and Him, not to make things better, but so that you can enjoy true fellowship with Him.”
Of course I immediately thought of “my issue”… “my besetting sin”.
And then it struck me.
My problem… what I need to let go of… is the DESPERATION, the IMMODERATION and the FALSE GUILT. Those are what stand between me and truly enjoying the Lord.
And those are what stand between me and truly enjoying building my business.
Sometimes we try too hard. We think everything has to be perfect. And when it isn’t, we feel guilty. And that’s when we need to say, “STOP IT!!!” and replace our negative self talk with
a good, solid, positive self talk. Say it a hundred times a day. MANY HUNDREDS if necessary. Not to beat ourselves up, or to force the growth and change we seek… but with a quietness and
confidence, knowing that the Slight Edge action of saying it and believing it hundreds of times a day will reprogram the mind. And before we know it, we’ll find our thoughts and actions following suit.
I am so grateful to Michael & Linda Dlouhy, Judi Sheehan, and others who are making such an impact on my personal growth. I love you all!
Willena Flewelling
Alberta Canada
P.S. I choose not to think of it as “my” issue, “my” problem, “my” besetting sin or “my” ANYTHING any more. Because it isn’t.
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Inspired by Chapter 2 of Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, and originally posted at 30DayCleanse.info If you would like to participate in a discussion on this lesson and a number of others, we would love to have you join with us on the mental cleanse call this Wednesday afternoon or evening. Contact me for the call-in details.
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© Willena Flewelling
Success in 10 Steps
Phone 780-349-7163
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It is amazing how many times I catch a negative thought midway through when I am creating the worst possible outcome in my mind. At that point, I sometimes shout stop and then look at positive ways to re-direct my thoughts.
Great post, Willena! I know that I’ve struggled with the issue of the fear of poverty. I think that it is very easy so many times when we have seen what happens when we struggle to get by and there is a huge worry that it could always happen again. Then again, the people who talk about something “safe” aren’t really doing much better, so I don’t know why it’s better to follow that route. I’d rather fight for a chance at something better.
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Thank you for sharing such powerful personal insights Willena! And you are so very right not to thing of these issues as problems – they are in fact your amazing opportunities! I truly believe that becoming clear about opportunities is half the battle won. And once begun, don’t allow anyone – including your inner self talk – to stop you from achieving your goal
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Hi Willena,
Beautifully written post and definitely a great article to make me realize that when I don’t have the strength to carry on on certain things..I have to ask myself again… So what is lacking in MY desire? What is holding me back from obtaining it?
This is powerful and I want you to know that I will use this question when necessary.
Thank you very much and glad I picked up something from your post
Cheers
Pearly
Willena, so much thought into how to…
I agree, we must me diligent in our choices of what we do daily. You must understand that the only purpose of anyone is to have love in their hearts and share that by the actions that draws us to be ethical in all activity, in supporting or serving others through love.
It is an amazing gift we are given to manifest all thoughts into reality. There are no limits, based on who we are made from, “I AM”, image.
Everyone at some point, will come to the conclusion. What you thing shall be. You should get with someone, who has mastered unlimited faith. If you would only recognize faith is not seeing. Faith is living as though you have what no one can see. You live as though you believe it is already here.
Think about meditating on one object. Let’s say a cup of tea at 3 O’clock today. Believe you will have a cup of, “Earl Gray”. Go through the day as waiting to taste that bittersweet, little sugar drink. How it will make you tongue quench, and liquid fill your mouth. That is even before you get to taste it. WOW!
It will manifest at a time that you desire, if you believe. That is power, all have for any and all things to be. You limited yourself, with all these unrealistic doubtful thoughts. What you think shall be. Faith, believing in what is not seen, yet knowing it to be true. To the point of acting, as if it is already existing. That is true faith, and unlimited belief. That is power that will only come from loving thy self, and believing everything can be done, will be. No limitation can exist with true faith.
Willena, your a visionary and great coach in our industry. Let your positive attitude, enlighten all who are willing to request you for assistance, in achieving there success as they determined. Just remember it”s about empowering others, with all that can be. Utilize that visualization skill, to empower them.
Thank you for sharing this subject, and keep all readers updated on your progress in your journey.
Very Truly Yours…
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Hello Willena,
I think most of use would do well to remind ourselves of what you say:
“My issue is the particular brand of self sabotage behind the achievement of my goals”
… and then move right down your article and realize that nothing can ever be perfect and should even be perfect for that matter.
Great post!
Keep the Smiles,
Stevie
Great post. I think we all have areas of our life where we sabotage ourselves. It is our fear and our self talk that can make things seem scary. Self talk can be used in a way that builds us up. If I hear myself say something less than what I want, I mentally think, “Rewind” or “Delete”, then replace that with better self talk.
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Hi Willena! Self-discovery is definitely part of our journey as entrepreneurs. Congrats to you on your “aha moment”
Thanks so much for sharing part of your journey! For me identifying exactly what those stumbling blocks are is the hardest part. I recently discovered the Mental Cleanse – perhaps that is what I need to discover those blocks. I appreciate what you have shared – very helpful! Thanks!
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Wonderful post Willena, Think & Grow Rich is one of my favorite books and topics.
I love to hear other people’s interpretations of the book and I appreciate you taking the time to write this post.
Great job !!
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It looks like you are making great strides. I appreciate your insights and how you are overcoming your challenges. I used to play competitive golf and negative self talk was a sure way to find every trouble on the golf course. And like you said, in business it is a great stumbling block. To be positive takes practice.
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Hi Willena,
Wow, I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this post, I certainly can.
It’s a disease to jump from thing to thing – it seems to move us away from the real problem… I almost think it’s a way to subconsciously avoid ourselves and the responsibility that comes with that.
Something that totally changed my life around in that respect is Get The Edge by Tony Robbins and Creating Lasting Change… I still switch it on whenever I feel low on energy! There’s a video floating around the net of Tony Robbins speaking with Frank Kern and someone else – have you seen it. They look in to why people who have all the tools they need to succeed still don’t manage it. If you haven’t seen it let me know and I’ll try to find it for you…
Nice to visit you here. I believe you have what it takes.
All the best,
Emma
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Really thoughtful and insightful post, Willena.
When you sabotage and compromise yourself with self doubt and inaction, you cheat yourself of your true purpose… not to achieve, but to be fully engaged in the pursuit of perfection, and… as you point out… your intimacy with God.
It’s not about the results, it’s not even about the effort… it’s about doing through the purpose of love. That requires constant action and striving, an abandonment of self-interest and a life on fire instead of lukewarm interests and casual efforts.
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Hello Willena,
Very astonishing and inspiring post! I am amazed with your effort. The most vital: Positive Self-talk. It’s a great point. Always be positive and taking massive action. Those are my rules. Thanks for sharing this insight, Willena.
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Willena,
Point # 3 – The way you do anything is the way you do everything, really stands out for me. There is so much truth in this statement. I relate a lot to this post. Thank you for sharing
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Nice post. Really informative, will surely help me in writing future posts for my blog. One more thing, I have started a new blog and offering a dofollow backlink for comluv members. So take this opportunity to check out my blog, leave some feedback and get a backlink.
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That is a really deep and inspiring post and applaud your efforts. And the mindset of parlaying problems into opportunities is pure genius also. Many thanks and you have brightened my day!
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Hi Willena,
I beg to differ. When we realise that we are not up to the mark and not perfect, it’s a correct realisation; the earlier, the better. Also, that feeling of guilt means that, you aim much higher and due to reasons known to you, could not do it. This is a critical point, from here on, the guilt should translate into greater determination to attain those goals. But if that guilt pulls you into a shell of disappointment; then it is not so good.
Thanks,
Kevin Rudd
hi willena, i try to stay positive and if it was just me myself and i i would be able to stay positive, but the people i am near in the day are negative so they love to try to put me in their shoes and put me into a negative mod, thanks for the post.
Hi Dan,
Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment.
You may have heard the old saying, “You can’t stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair.” We can avoid a lot of the negative people in our lives, but not all. So for those times when we can’t, here are a couple of suggestions…
1. Self Talk. Have a good, positive self talk that you say to yourself every time you find your thoughts turning to the negative. The more you do it, the more you will find yourself able to replace the negative in your own mind, with the positive.
2. Your Perfect Day. Think of your perfect day… or perfect moment… some special experience in your past that brings back special memories. When others are bombarding you with negative stuff, go to your perfect day.
Trust me… it helps.
Willena
Thank you for this inspiring post. I truly believe that the starting point of achievement is desire. Without desire, you wont succeed or learn new things. You won’t live a happy life and then you would hate yourself and feel guilty.