I could make a long list of “IF’s” that hold me back, or have done in the past. IF I had money… IF I were not so fat… IF I had the personality of some people… to name a few. But the one that stands out most to me right now is this one:
IF nothing happens to stop me.
Those are Victim Words. Of course things happen that are beyond my control… it’s called LIFE. But nothing has the power to stop me from achieving my goals except my own thoughts. Those words reveal what I now see as my biggest challenge.
Fear of Commitment.
I know I am afraid to make a commitment to anything these days. I don’t know if I take on too much, or if I’m lazy, or what is behind all the partially finished tasks and projects littering the trail of my life.
I know I am loathe to make any kind of commitment to the church, or commit to praying for anyone in particular, or to follow a particular program to lose weight.
And I know that AT ALL COST, I don’t want to make a commitment and fail to follow through on it. Better not to make the commitment in the first place when I know that about myself, right?
What I don’t know is “why”.
I’m not a quitter. I don’t truly abandon a project… I keep it around, never really deciding not to do it. Every moment and every ounce of strength spent on it, counts forever… is important to me… and is a strong factor in my not abandoning the project completely.
I stuck with my first husband all the way through his illness. 17 months of visiting him every day, except the 8 days I was out of town. I saw my tall, strong husband reduced to an invalid, unable to walk or even sit up in his wheelchair for long… saw radiotherapy rob him of his curly blond hair and the sparkle in his blue eyes… saw him go nearly blind so that he didn’t know if that was raspberry jello or pickled beets on his plate… saw him suffer through disturbing hallucinations…
It wasn’t easy, sitting by his bedside those 17 months, unable to do anything for him except to just be there. But I did it. Why? Because I wouldn’t THINK of leaving my husband. I loved him! And I had made a life-long commitment to him, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. We didn’t know sickness was going to come only a few months after our wedding.
An honest look at my life shows me there are MANY examples of times I could have quit, and even wanted to quit. But I didn’t.
Hill says I have three enemies which I must clear out of my mind if I want my sixth sense to function properly and consistently in my life. Three enemies… Indecision, Doubt and Fear. INDECISION is the seedling of FEAR… INDECISION crystallizes into DOUBT… and the two blend and become FEAR. This process can be slow and gradual, unnoticed by me, and sometimes they remain hidden in my subconscious where they are difficult to locate and still more difficult to eliminate.
Overcoming my Fear
Sounds like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it! But it is a cycle I can CHOOSE to end, any time I want to. How??? By choosing to control my mind rather than letting it control me!
“The most practical of all methods for controlling the mind is the habit of keeping it busy with a definite purpose, backed by a definite plan.”
The mental cleanse was never intended to be an exercise in perpetual introspection. There comes a time to stop asking what’s wrong with you, and just keep on doing what you know works. SAY your self talk, STAY close to the fire, DO your daily activities, and SEND a report of your daily activities to someone you trust who will hold you accountable.
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This lesson plan was inspired by Chapter 15 of Think and Grow Rich,
by Napoleon Hill, and was originally posted at 30DayCleanse.info
If you would like to participate in a discussion of several lesson
plans like this one, we would love to have you join with us on the
mental cleanse call every Wednesday afternoon or evening.
Contact me and I’ll be happy to give you the call-in details.
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© Willena Flewelling
Success in 10 Steps
Phone 780-349-7163
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Willena,
Thank you for sharing your story, it’s a true inspiration to many.
Thank you, Peter.
Really appreciated your article Willena. My problem has always been the opposite – good Catholic girl that I am I hung in with my marriage about 10 years longer than I should have because I just couldn’t make myself give up. I’ve stayed in jobs way too long as well as friendships. These days I’m working at knowing when it’s the right time to “let go.”
It’s a balance, isn’t it, Marty? Knowing when to quit something that is NOT working for you, and when to stay with it because it will work in the long run. When to be tenacious and when to let go.
This is really very good and motivating article. The points were really effective and well described. Well thanks for the suggestions.
Thanks for stopping by, Shivam.
yeah…you have to talk to a lot more and be frank to everybody about your thinking them you will get the right way to overcome the problem of fear.
Thanks for sharing Willena! A powerful story.
I’m like Marquita, I hang on too long. Just learned a great lesson on that one which ended up costing me a lot of money.
It’s getting easier, I always used to feel like a quitter, like I wasn’t giving it my all. Now I know better.
Thanks for sharing about your fear, it makes it easier for me to face mine when I know I am not alone.
There is no room for fear when gratitude is the predominant emotion. Be Grateful always, in all situations, at all times and doubt and fear are gone !
You’re an awesome woman, Willena, time you became grateful for the gifts you’ve been given as those gifts have been given to you for a reason.
Use them, fellow sister.
Joyce
You’re absolutely right, Joyce. Thank you for the reminder!
Willena
Hi Willena,
Thanks for sharing your powerful and inspirational story. So often we have a resistance to change and it takes a lot of courage to make a decision to move on. It’s amazing how often we are confronted with that challenge until we have learned to move through it! I agree, it’s great knowing when it’s the correct time to be tenacious and hang and when to let go!
Thanks Loren. I guess the trick is knowing what our real purpose is… our “why”… our dreams and goals. If those are clear in our vision, then it’s easier to see if something or someone is helping us or hindering us toward those goals.
Willena
Thanks for sharing your story. It can be a vicious cycle when we get caught up in fear about commitment or anything else we fear. Love really helps face those fears.
Yes it does! Thanks Melodie.
Willena
Thank you for sharing with us, Willena. By the way, that was the toughness I was talking about. You may not see it, but it is right there.
Not everyone could’ve endured that kind of challenge, you are truly inspiring.
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Thanks Tim
i appreciated this post. thank you for a very inspiring post. we all know that there were always a lot of ifs and why but in most cases, we know all the ifs without knowing why.
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@Crescele, Thank you Stevie. It helps to know the why, but we don’t have to. That’s the value of self talk… we can change our behaviour by reprogramming our subconscious mind.
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